-----Original Message----- 
From: Gods0utlaw1@aol.com 
To: IPastorOfMuppets@aol.com 
Sent: Tue, 11 Aug 2009 8:30:08 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: (no subject) 
 
you know youve only got one daddy an one day ill be gone too so if 
i dont hea 
r anythang from ya ill let it be  an not contact you again but 
dont ferget ive always loved you an always done for you   so whatever 
will be will be   i love you an i always will

I have replied to him:

You are the cause of this. Because we broke a lease. Because of money, what you were always supposed to hate. You could not expect us to stay there the way you were being. You never ever fess up to your own fuck ups. As soon as you heard we were leaving you took Mama's ashes... which had inside the vase other important things to me. How could you do that to your child? Take away the most important thing to me in the world.... Kill my soul like that. You know her ashes would always be safe with me, you told me yourself... so why did you take them from me? And why did you tell Angel you found them in the trash? I'll not forgive you for that. Ever. For you to even make up something so absolutely terrible about the most important thing to me... How could you? How can you treat me that way? I will not have you in my life just because you're my father. I will not have the added stress and bullshit and lies that you have to offer. 
 
And I'll never forgive you for swallowing your pride and getting a fucking fast food job for Linda when you would never do that for Mama... when she begged you. 
 
Goodbye. 
 

With Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter... I can't wait!

Can you guys believe I've had this journal for 9 years???  767 entries.  I doubt I've ever written anything with any substance but it's been fun (and will continue to be when I update - this is not a goodbye!!)  I just thought it was sorta crazy that my little journal has been around this long.  I also have log files of many of the entries of my livejournal before this one (pinkypie).  My friend Gravey invited me to start using LJ when we met on Gothic Auctions a long long time ago in internet history.  Her and I and Marshy and Carmy would chat in rooms almost every night and we have so much fun... wow... I was only 15 years old then, too.  Over the years I've had the amazing pleasure of meeting Marshy in person more than once!!  I'd still love to meet my other girls.  I hope the three of them always stay my close (they were really the 1sts!!) internet girlfriends.  

Cheers to you,LiveJournal... for staying around and being awesome.
And I'd like to send a ton of love to Gravey, Marshy, Carmy, & Wax ... you guys a really dear to me!!  <3

I know a lot of you on my friends list are really crafty.  My little boy wants and Alice Cooper shirt and I can't find any in a kids 7....  Is there any possible way I could make one for under 10$????  Or can I order one from somewhere or something??

You have no idea how long I've wanted this!! 

I have decided to have my tubes tied.  I've struggled for the past 12 years of my life with what people would call "mental problems"... I'm not crazy or anything but I do stress out too easily and I basically spend a lot of time inside my own head.  I've been on different medications throughout the years but haven't found anything so far that really really helps.  I think it's best for my mental health to not have anymore children.  I have my baby boy and that's all I need.  The baby stages are over, I enjoyed them but they were hard.  Now my Mom is gone and my family has fallen apart.  I have only my grandmother and while she is completely amazing, she has things she needs to take care of for her own health and her doctor is in Fort Lauderdale Florida.  I don't think I could go through another pregnancy or deliver another person into this world knowing my Mom will never see that child.  When I lost my Mom, Toby was almost 2.... she helped me so much through the rough times and she was there for me through everything. 

And as selfish as it sounds, when Toby starts school, I don't want to be at home taking care of another baby.  I want to be out of the house, working doing something I want to do.  I don't want to start all over again. 

2 dalmation mixed dogs killed my baby Didymus on Sunday.

You're going to vote today right?!?!?